Archive for the ‘Conservation Commission’ Category
Beecher: Greetings, Neighbor!
Chair of the Conservation Commission, and Professional Poop Farmer, Ned Beecher sent a letter to his neighbor George recently, detailing the disaster that he had caused when he installed a meager little culvert and removed, horror of horrors, 
a tree stump. Not an ecological disaster, mind you, nor anything that impacted the properties of George’s neighbors, but a disaster of a far greater magnitude: no government permission was sought for the endeavor.
The letter includes helpful tidbits for George, such as a grand explanation of all his permitting options through the DES, his tree-stump removal violation, and a suggestion that George and his wife “may want to consult with the Planning Board and/or Conservation Commission to get a sense of the permissibility of what you propose, prior to spending time and money on the application process”. At least Ned understands that their subjective control of private property does have time and financial implications for local families and businesses, and it certainly will in this case as he CC’ed his letter to the NH DES as well as the Selectmen for enforcement action. Ned wraps up his letter with a particularly neighborly tone: “As noted, you are possibly in violation of three state and local regulations. You may need as many as three permits to proceed.”
Something is wrong when some poor fellow can’t remove a stump nor install a culvert on his own property without threats of being cost time and money, along with gracious offers to “get a sense of the permissibility of what you propose” from various town and state bureaucrats. Most neighbors help each other out with backyard projects, but apparently if you live next door to a town bureaucrat, you’re instead threatened with enforcement of onerous and unethical regulations.
Noah’s Ark In Modern-Day Tamworth
One day, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Tamworth. He said,
“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but there was no Ark.
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